Tears of my Life
by Cager Macleod
Summary: Lily and Severus have been dating since their second year, but when he breaks it off without a reason, Lily feels as though her life has been taken from her, as Lily moves on will she let Severus back into her life Discontinued for now at least


Tears of my life

**Authors Note: Firstly: Disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter or anything like that, the lovely JK Rowling is the one who owns HP.**

**This is my first Harry Potter fic about Lily and Severus. Please Read and Review, and feedback will be greatly appreciated. **

1 – The good left undone

The rain splattered, heavy and uneven, on the window of the Gryffindor seventh year girl's dormitory. Lily sat on the sill, her forehead pressed against the cold glass, trying to make out the grounds below. Every now and again she could see the dark shapes of people out in the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures, but she couldn't see who they were. Sighing she turned away from the window and decided on going into the common room.

The common room, warm and inviting, only had a few students, all seventh years with free periods, who were sitting around the roaring fire. Lily made her way to a spare seat and sat down. From across the common room, she caught James Potter staring at her, he waved sheepishly. Lily forced a smile and looked away.

She stared at her knees and felt tears well in her eyes. The way he had looked at her burned painfully in her memory. She felt the air move beside her, accommodating another body. She didn't look up as she heard the sound of the chair beside her sinking as it was sat upon. She had a feeling she knew who was there.

"You still upset over Snivellus?" James asked her and Lily felt a hot tear hit the back of her hands which were folded on her knees. James, realising his mistake hastily tried to rectify it. "I mean, I heard that Snape broke up with you, I'm sorry."

Lily still refused to look at him, she sucked in a breath, but the tears still slid silently down her check. James opened his mouth to speak again but Lily cut him off. "Just go away, James!" She snapped and stood up, fleeing the Common room through the portrait hole and into the breezy corridor.

First she ran the sound of her feet and the sound of classes behind closed doors echoed around her. She turned corners blindly, tears now streaming from her eyes. Without caring where she was going, she started to slow down to a walk. Her ears ringing with the words Severus said to her a week prior. "I think it's for the best." She let out a sob and stopped walking, rubbing her eyes on her sleeve.

Looking around her she realised that she was near the Library, deciding it would be easy to hide, she entered it, choosing a table down the back, hidden by the bookshelves. Without any real care she pulled a book out and opened it, staring down at the pages blankly. Her mind still on the break-up. She had been dating Severus since their second year. At first they where scorned, nobody thought a relationship between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor could work out, but together they made it, sticking together through thick and thin. Until, of course, last week when he ended it, she didn't know why he did, he never told her. He just said that he wanted a break and that it was for the best. She hadn't spoken to him since, nor had she wanted too. Whenever they had crossed paths, her group of friends had shielded her from him, for this she was grateful.

"Lily, I know you're in here. Lupin saw you come in here." The voice of her best friend, Leanne Kane, rang out through the Library. "You can't hide forever!"

Lily smiled in spite of herself and stood, walked to the end of the row and waved Leanne over. Leanne smiled broadly and skipped over to her, Lily led her back to the table and they sat together. Leanne watching Lily with an interested look.

"I heard you yelled at James." She stated, Lily frowned, annoyed.

"So, he deserved it." She snapped.

"Hey," Leanne looked shocked, but replaced it with a compassionate look. "He just cares about you, all you're friends do. We know how much you loved Sev and we hate too see you like this." She moved over and put an arm around Lily, who lent into her and started to cry again.

"You can't run forever, you got to face it." Leanne told her and Lily gave a loud sob.

"I know," Lily said between sniffs "It's hard, we've been together for so long. I don't know why he ended it."

"I know, honey." Leanne said. "Come on, it's almost time for Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. We better not be late or McGonagall will do her block again."

Lily stood weakly, gathering her bag and let Leanne steer her from the Library and towards the classroom. The noise of hundreds of other students leaving their classrooms filled the Castle. Lily felt slightly better for some explained reason, as though it was easier to hide in the mist of so many others.

Before she knew it they were outside McGonagall's classroom standing with a group of other Gryffindors who were chattering amongst themselves. Lily avoided their eyes and looked at the floor, her eyes puffy and red, she knew she was being stupid but the wounds were still too fresh. The door swung open and they entered. Lily and Leanne headed to the back of the classroom and sat down. Lily still looking downwards took out her books and tried to concentrate on what McGonagall was saying, but she couldn't. Severus kept popping into her mind, and the fun times they had, like the time they had been down the lake....

"MISS EVANS!" McGonagalls voice interrupted her thoughts. "If you think this is not worth listening too, you can leave now!" She yelled angrily. Lily looked up and into her eyes. "I'm sorry Professor. It won't happen again."

Lily left the Classroom a little over half an hour later with Leanne, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. McGonagall telling her off seemed to have done something that her friends could not, and snapped her from her depression. Although not completely over everything, she had started talking again at least.

"What have we got after lunch?" James asked and stretched as they walked to the Great hall.  
"Double Potions with the Slytherins." Sirius replied darkly.

"Damn, maybe I should skip, old Slughorn wouldn't know any different."

"You can't skip James," Remus shot at him, "Nor can you, for that matter, Lily." He shot a quick glance at her and then back to James. "You'll miss too much and you already skipped last week because of Snape, Lily. You can't avoid him forever."

Lily did not speak, that was the second time today that she had been told she can't avoid things forever. She knew her friends were right, she couldn't avoid Severus forever. She would have to go to Potion, and she would have to be strong. She wouldn't be alone with him and her friends would be there with her the whole time. She had nothing to worry about she would be fine. But even as she thought that she instantly doubted it. However the noise of the Great Hall distracted her and soon she was sitting down with the others at the Gryffindor table trying not to think about what was ahead.


End file.
